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Friday, June 04, 2004
Hi,
This is my second night of waking up at 4:30.
I am wide awake and cannot get back to sleep.
My brain got a jump start when I went to the bathroom. It wants to stay up. Its having a wonderful time thinking and planning and musying, (here is where it gets wierd)..
I think about typing a weblog and I type out the keys in my mind!!
I am thinking about the dream I woke up from.
Then I start analyzing what was happeing in it.. I rethink as much of it that I can. I also think about the main person in mydream, I keep thinking of when we could get together. which day is the best and how to fit it in to my schedule, how its taking so long in the first place to carve out some time to be with them.
Then my brain takes me on a rabbit trail to memory lane.
I now am "talking" to this person about a situation,
I am " daydreaming" when I need to be "night dreaming"
I then start thinking about my friend I visited today, that i helped clean and then went to an award ceromony for her son.
I think about when I can go back and help out again.. I literally start counting days to see how many times I week I can go, ok there are 7 days how can I split this up to two times a week. i count 4 days apart Wed to Sunday,, uh no that won't work, uh thursday to monday, nah i work in the afternoon and have a class at night. Uh tues to friday, uh no I help a mom in my subdivion, and the problem is that it changes each week to keep it two times a week, Urrgh
I guess I have to just make it once a week. Thats all I can do.
My helps gift is on overdrive.
I think I need something to get me back to sleep and decide to come downstairs and take a benadryl.
That always make me drowsy. Then I remember realized I am congested and my doctor told me to take a decongestant when that happens so I look for sudafed, can't find it at first, after some digging in the bin I find it.
I read the label and its "non-drowsy" Now what do I do? do I want to go to sleep or deal with my congestion,, well I guess I can take the benadryl and check my mail and see if david is on while working. Nah he isn't and I have only one entry.
So now here I am, my body is way behind on sleep and I have to think about how I will feel later tonight when I plan to drive to my mom's in pittsburgh.
Leah and I are attending a mother/daughter luncheon with my mom and two sisters saturday
I also want to attend our marriage encounter picnic on sunday.
So I start counting backwards to see when I need to leave to be home by 2:00.
I am so sleep deprived its fairly hard to do.
When I am manic like this, I have to do my best to stay on a routine and get the same amount of rest each night. Whats wierd is if I go to bed late like at 11:00 I then cannot fall asleep.
If I go earlier I can.. You would think that by the next day one could catch up due to lack of sleep, but what actually happens is you go into this whirlwind of thoughts and planning and activity.
The body is dragging around while the mind wants to run the show.
Another part of me ( i guess my soul) needs to step in and tell them its balance time.
Ok so I am gonna close and make myself get some rest.
The benadryl has arrived and its starting to work.
chow
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hi younse (for those in pittsburgh)
Hey for the rest of you people. You may get some of my random thoughts,
musings,occurances.
and perhaps get a look into the bi-polar a.d.d
life that I live. And now to qoute a favorite song of mine.
( this is for you david and leah)
" Somehow loving Jesus comes so naturally. I knew that I was always meant to be. A worshipper a follower of Jesus HE has given me life, He's given me life abundantly,
Hi Ho dilly I hi, Hi ho dilly I hi, go with me to lands of stories and lands of dreams to people and places you've never seen
Hi ho Hi dilly I ohhhhh and off we go!!
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